1
00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:10,600
Hey, Dizzy. Best hangover cure -
sardines on toast.

2
00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:13,439
Simone.

3
00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:14,999
Just because he plays guitar

4
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,119
does not mean that
you're in love with him.

5
00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:18,879
Bye, Brian.

6
00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:22,639
And remember,
Joe Rogan is not a scientist.

7
00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:24,239
MAN: Ozzie, my man!

8
00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:25,959
All the best for tomorrow, mate.

9
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:28,639
Austin! Come on, mate!

10
00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:31,039
We've actually got
a lot more in common than you think.

11
00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:33,759
Like, we both really like...

12
00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:34,999
..your mum.

13
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,599
The only thing that
we have in common, Eric,

14
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,959
is that we're both forklift drivers
and are 60% water.

15
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:42,560
Goodbye, Eric. Heads up!

16
00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:53,719
Hello, Tam.

17
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:54,999
I have prepared for you

18
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,679
a list of Meryl Streep's
best performances in films,

19
00:00:57,680 --> 00:00:59,759
for which she did not
receive an Oscar,

20
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:03,919
starting with Death Becomes Her
and ending with The River Wild.

21
00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,279
Oh. Thank you, Austin.

22
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:07,959
And good luck tomorrow.
Thank you.

23
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:10,360
He'll never see it coming.
Indeed, he won't.

24
00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:37,880
(PHONE RINGS)

25
00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:41,119
Heidi. Uh, hi.
WOMAN: Julian.

26
00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:43,199
Oh, thank God. I've been trying
to get hold of you for hours.

27
00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:44,399
So, what's going on?

28
00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:45,639
Have you been on Twitter, or X,

29
00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:47,239
or whatever it is
they're calling it these days?

30
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,159
No.
Well, you're trending.

31
00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:51,399
(LAUGHS) That's fantastic!

32
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:53,639
No. Not fantastic, Julian.
You're a hate figure.

33
00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:56,479
Well, envious of success.
British disease, I'm afraid.

34
00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:58,399
No, I think it's probably got
something to do with the fact

35
00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:00,450
that you retweeted
a white supremacist.

36
00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:03,039
Retweeted a what?

37
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,480
A Nazi.

38
00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:12,639
Ingrid.
Oh! Sorry.

39
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:14,839
I just got off the phone with Heidi.
The signings off today.

40
00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:16,559
Uh, Dymocks have pulled out.

41
00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:17,799
That's annoying.
Yeah.

42
00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:19,679
Why has Big Bear got no shorts on?

43
00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:21,279
Oh, it's just ideas I'm sketching.

44
00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,159
I think maybe shorts and no top,

45
00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:26,959
but not no top, no shorts,
it's...it's a bit kinky.

46
00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:29,399
Well, he's an innocent, Julian.
He hasn't got sex organs.

47
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,719
Hasn't he? 'Cause that's
a major creative decision.

48
00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:33,359
I might have wanted to do
something about that

49
00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:35,879
further down the line.
Oh, might you?

50
00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:38,719
You so did Dymocks give a reason
why they didn't want to do the...

51
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:40,399
Oh, it's just a fuss about nothing.

52
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,919
Basically, I re-X'ed, um...
What?

53
00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:44,999
Retweeted something about
freedom of speech,

54
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:48,679
which I defy anyone who cares about
an open democracy to disagree with.

55
00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:50,079
And that's why they've cancelled?

56
00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:52,719
Well, it transpires that
the original tweetee was, um...

57
00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:56,959
..is, uh, quite a prominent,
um, rather active, um,

58
00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,479
very successful in his own rights,

59
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:00,680
uh, neo-Nazi.

60
00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:04,119
Julian. Jesus!

61
00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:06,759
Well, how was I supposed to know?
he didn't have any of the gear on?

62
00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:08,319
And I re-emphasise -
the tweet itself

63
00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:10,159
was a perfectly reasonable
statement.

64
00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:11,399
By a neo-Nazi.

65
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,799
Well, newsflash,
bad people are sometimes right

66
00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:15,279
about certain things.

67
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:16,919
I mean, I know that nuance

68
00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:19,239
is now lost from our discourse,
but it's true.

69
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,559
There are probably some things
you'd agree with Hitler about.

70
00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,159
Julian, please don't choose this
as a hill you want to die on,

71
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,479
or your obituary's
just going to read,

72
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:27,359
"Julian Hartswood,
co-creator of Big Bear,

73
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,559
"who thought Hitler
had a couple of good points,

74
00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:32,479
"was stoned to death yesterday
by woke toddlers."

75
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:33,999
Fine. I take your point.

76
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,110
Do you really think
I'll get an obituary?

77
00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:39,479
Is this going to impact
the rest of the tour?

78
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,519
No, no, no. I spoke to Heidi.

79
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:44,319
She's going to put her PR guy on it
first thing in the morning.

80
00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:47,399
I mean, tomorrow, it'll
all be yesterday's news anyway.

81
00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,119
Will it?
Yeah.

82
00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:50,999
But will it?
I think so.

83
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,519
Will it, though?

84
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,639
I'm going to go and take a shower.

85
00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:56,920
Stick some pants on that bear.

86
00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:18,399
(PHONE RINGS)

87
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:20,119
Hello!
Ingrid!

88
00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:21,919
It's Monica from Stone and Crow.

89
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:24,119
Oh, hi.

90
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:26,999
Listen, with everything
that's going on,

91
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,599
I just wanted to
reach out to let you know

92
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:30,359
how much we value working with you.

93
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:31,719
Hopefully for a long time to come.

94
00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:34,199
Oh, well, thank...
thank you so much.

95
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:37,639
That... That's really good to know.
I'll let Jules know.

96
00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:40,319
Well, I meant YOU.

97
00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:41,319
Oh.

98
00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:43,919
Incidentally, I was talking about
you with Nathan's sister's team.

99
00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:45,919
He's looking for a new illustrator.

100
00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:47,660
We thought you'd be a brilliant fit.

101
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:51,599
Oh! Wow...

102
00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:55,040
Um, obviously, I'm very flattered,
but, um...

103
00:04:55,041 --> 00:04:58,399
I've never worked with anyone
other than Julian.

104
00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:01,520
Well...have a think about it.

105
00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:04,919
4:30's perfect. Yeah.

106
00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:06,359
Uh, sorry. What was your name?

107
00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:08,559
(ON PHONE) Uh, it's Odin.
Odin. Fantastic.

108
00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:10,479
Well, thank you, Odin.

109
00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:14,639
We shall see you later. Yeah.
OK! Thank you.

110
00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:16,879
No, no. Thank you. Yeah.
Bye-bye.

111
00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:18,120
Bye.

112
00:05:18,461 --> 00:05:21,879
Are you trying to get uncancelled?

113
00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:25,599
Negatory. Cancellation acceptardo.

114
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,879
Oh, no. You're not trying to
find a workaround.

115
00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:28,879
I found one.

116
00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:31,079
I called a few bookstores,
and, um...

117
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:34,439
..these guys, uh, The True Reader,

118
00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:37,439
are more than happy to host us.

119
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:38,920
Or...

120
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:41,599
..we could have a day off.

121
00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:43,559
Boring.
Oh, thanks.

122
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,239
Don't you have to run it
by Stone And Crow?

123
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,479
No point.
They'll all be in bed now anyway.

124
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:51,239
No, they can find out tomorrow
and actually feel quite embarrassed

125
00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:53,800
they didn't have the moxie
to organise this.

126
00:05:58,080 --> 00:05:59,439
What can I do? What can I do?

127
00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:01,559
I think just stand there.

128
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,479
Five minutes.

129
00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:04,479
Over there.

130
00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:05,639
I'm so sorry, guys.

131
00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:07,159
It's alright.
You're just doing your job.

132
00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:09,999
We'd be so grateful
if you didn't remember us like this.

133
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,839
It's such a shame.
I was brought up on Big Bear.

134
00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:14,039
I think we all were here.
Careful!

135
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,399
That's a beloved childhood icon.

136
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:16,879
If it had been anything
other than racism,

137
00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:18,799
I think you probably
would have been OK.

138
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:21,399
They're just really strict
on that here, unfortunately.

139
00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:22,719
Me too.

140
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:24,679
'Cause I didn't actually
retreat anything racist.

141
00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:26,199
It was actually about
freedom of speech.

142
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,479
Luckily, there are still
some bookshops in this city

143
00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:31,599
that understand
that crucial distinction.

144
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,920
So sorry.
Bye.

145
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,640
My childhood was a lie.

146
00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:42,039
How would YOU describe that font?

147
00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,079
I mean, at the very least,
I'd have to say Germanic.

148
00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:46,279
Honestly, makes me think
of the New York Times.

149
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,039
Yeah. You don't think it has
overtones of racism?

150
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,159
No. Loads of papers use it.

151
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:53,119
Daily Telegraph,
and they're not...um...

152
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,000
Let's just get the stuff inside.

153
00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:17,319
Julian, there's quite a lot
of copies of Mein Kampf.

154
00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:20,279
OK, well,
it's a historical document.

155
00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:21,679
Lots of bookshops have it.
Oh, yeah?

156
00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:23,839
In a window display,
in the original German?

157
00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:25,080
Really?

158
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:28,719
Hey, you two.
Hey.

159
00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:31,680
Can I get you anything,
like a tea or a coffee?

160
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:33,799
BOTH: Uh...

161
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:35,959
Oh, a coffee would be great.
Yeah, coffee would be great.

162
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,479
Actually, do you know what?

163
00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:39,999
I fancy a tea, but, um...
yeah, not too strong.

164
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,599
OK. Just show it the bag.

165
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:42,719
Show it the bag.

166
00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,240
Yeah. Too easy.

167
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,959
(WHISPERS) Julian. Julian.

168
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,319
Did you see their knuckles?

169
00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:50,999
Yeah. 'Hate race'.
And you know what? Me too.

170
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,559
It's a social construct.
Very divisive.

171
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,279
Julian.

172
00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:56,639
BOTH: Race hate.

173
00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:58,119
We need to get out of here now.
We need to go.

174
00:07:58,120 --> 00:07:59,479
What are we going to do
with the books?

175
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,319
Forget the books. They're gone.
They're gone.

176
00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:02,599
I'm not leaving Big Bear here.

177
00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,280
He looks like he's heiling Hitler.

178
00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:08,319
No, Julian, wait.

179
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:11,079
So, how long have we been
on the website?

180
00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:12,799
I don't know. A couple of hours.
OK.

181
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:14,919
And nobody's here,
so maybe nobody saw it.

182
00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:16,759
We need to get it down now.
Right.

183
00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:18,599
OK.
Um...

184
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:20,679
Odin?

185
00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:22,119
Yeah.

186
00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:23,479
Such a pretty name.

187
00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:26,759
Um, what is
the Wi-Fi password, please?

188
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:29,600
Oh, Dresden45.

189
00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:33,600
Capital D.

190
00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:36,799
(WHISPERS) Crap.
Crap, crap, crap.

191
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:38,359
OK, you do that.

192
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,719
If anybody comes in, you tell them
it's been cancelled, OK?

193
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:41,959
OK. What were you gonna do?

194
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:43,639
I'm just going to go
and say I'm terribly sorry.

195
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:45,559
It's like a terrible
misunderstanding kind of thing.

196
00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:46,959
Really? Are you sure?
Maybe I should...

197
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,119
No, I don't think...
I think, let's be honest,

198
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:50,639
I have got a less confronting face.

199
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:52,519
What's wrong with my face?

200
00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:54,959
I'm a massive fan of your face.

201
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:57,159
I just think there are circumstances
in which your face

202
00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,119
might be deemed...

203
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:00,399
..punchable.

204
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,559
And I just think
it'd be really nice

205
00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:05,039
if we could eliminate
that possibility.

206
00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:07,359
You think I've got a punchable face?
Oh! Don't do that!

207
00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:09,239
I'm not doing that!
I am trying...

208
00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:10,999
I am trying to fix your boo-boo

209
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:14,119
by getting into the mindset
of a disappointed racist.

210
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:17,120
That's really hard for me.

211
00:09:23,351 --> 00:09:25,439
Hello?
Hello.

212
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,159
Uh, Big Bear or racism?

213
00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:29,839
I'm here for the signing.

214
00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:31,799
Ah, great. Uh, sorry.

215
00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:33,160
Um... It's cancelled.

216
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:43,359
As in, it's not happening anymore.

217
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:45,560
Oh, well, that's a disappointment.

218
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:48,530
OK.

219
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:55,279
Is that a...copy of the book?
Yeah. It is.

220
00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:56,679
Um, look, I'll tell you what.

221
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:59,119
Uh, let me just sign that
for you quickly.

222
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,239
What's your name?
Austin Hogan.

223
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:02,359
Uh, how do you spell Austin?

224
00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:05,560
A-U-S-T-I-N.
OK.

225
00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:08,600
There we go.

226
00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:11,159
Thank you.
Bob's your uncle.

227
00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:13,160
My uncle's called Jim Hogan.

228
00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:15,239
Great.

229
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:18,720
I was wondering
if you could also sign these.

230
00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:22,359
Oh...
I mean, it's entirely our fault.

231
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:23,519
We should have done our research.

232
00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:26,439
It's just this isn't...
really our ethos.

233
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:29,079
Of course. I totally understand.

234
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,119
I actually find it quite abhorrent,
to be honest.

235
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:33,239
Yeah. A lot of people do.
And I get it.

236
00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:35,559
I know all about
finding things abhorrent.

237
00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:37,559
(LAUGHS)

238
00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:40,319
Uh, do you take sugar
with your tea, or...

239
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:41,959
Do you have honey?

240
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:44,359
I thought I was the only one
who liked honey in their tea.

241
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:46,319
Oh, no. No, I'm obsessed with it.

242
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:49,839
Julian sometimes calls me honey
because I love it so much.

243
00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:51,199
Cold-pressed.

244
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:53,199
You are an absolute dreamboat.

245
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:54,640
I know.

246
00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,839
There's also another reason
that I came today.

247
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:05,799
Mm-hm?
I wanted to tell you something.

248
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:09,240
I'm pretty sure that I'm your son.

249
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:18,720
I'm your son.

250
00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:25,959
OK. I'll... I'll be right back.

251
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:27,320
OK.

252
00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:33,919
That's a little surprising.

253
00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,319
3G, 4G, 5G -

254
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,679
like, you just don't know
what they're putting in the water.

255
00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:40,359
(WHISPERS) OK, we need to
get out the back.

256
00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:42,439
We need to get out the back, now.
What's... What's going on?

257
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,479
We haven't got a back exit.
Have you got a panic room?

258
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:45,919
Yeah, I've got a concrete bunker.

259
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:48,079
Great.
That's where I keep my guns.

260
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:49,319
OK.
Julian...

261
00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:50,879
I don't want to go in
the racist bunker.

262
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,279
There's a maniac out there.
Oh, shit.

263
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:54,719
A guy just wandered in
off the street,

264
00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:56,199
said he thinks he's my son.

265
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:57,719
And did you ask him
why he thinks he's your son?

266
00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:58,999
No.
Why not?

267
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,279
Because he's a maniac.
And why is he a maniac?

268
00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:02,760
Because he thinks he's my son.

269
00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:06,720
No. No, no, no, no, no.
Yes.

270
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:10,720
Thank you.

271
00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:16,999
Hello.
Ah, hello.

272
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,599
Hi.

273
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,799
My name's Ingrid.
I'm Julian's wife.

274
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:23,519
Ah, good to meet you.
I'm Austin Hogan.

275
00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:26,199
I think you're
a supremely skilled artist.

276
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,599
Ah! Amazing. Never gets old!

277
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:31,039
And I think that
you have excellent taste, sir.

278
00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:32,079
Thanks.

279
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:35,279
Now, I understand that you believe
that Julian might be your father.

280
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:36,839
That's correct.

281
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,039
Excuse me.

282
00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:40,679
Do you have anything on
the Great Replacement theory?

283
00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:43,679
Oh, uh, that's over here, actually.
Oh, cheers.

284
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,560
Should we do this somewhere else?
Yeah, sure.

285
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:51,880
Racists first.

286
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,719
Here we go.
One decaf latte with hazelnut milk.

287
00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:58,280
One lemonade.
Thank you.

288
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:03,400
Um... Austin. Uh...
(STIRS LOUDLY)

289
00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:05,919
Um, what was that about?

290
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:07,839
I was just doing that
to make it flat.

291
00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:09,719
I prefer it that way.
Right. Yeah.

292
00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:13,759
But I think... Well, there's
no way I could be your father.

293
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:19,279
So, Austin, why is it that you feel
that Julian might be your dad?

294
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,159
First of all,
I've never been to Australia before.

295
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:22,799
And, uh, cards on the table,

296
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:24,879
I actually find Australian women
quite frightening.

297
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:27,119
Not attractive to them.
All Australian women?

298
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:28,119
What? Kylie?

299
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:29,799
Well, I don't think
his mother's Kylie, is she?

300
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:31,719
My mum's not Kylie.
She's called Mel Hogan.

301
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:33,079
Never heard of her.

302
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,359
She lived in London
for a period in her 20s.

303
00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:36,919
And she said that she met you

304
00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:38,839
while she was
working as waiting staff

305
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:40,919
for an outside catering company.

306
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,839
Oh, but, Julian, you did used to
do that when we first met.

307
00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:45,519
Yeah. That's true.
And for a while beforehand.

308
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:50,200
I brought a photograph of her
from around that time, right here.

309
00:13:52,181 --> 00:13:54,919
Well, Do you recognise her?

310
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:58,839
Austin, I...I...I...
do remember your mother.

311
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:00,639
Yeah.
Oh, my God!

312
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,119
But there's no way
I could be your father.

313
00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:04,719
I mean, it was... It was only
a couple of times...ish.

314
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:06,879
Surely a baby
requires more sustained...

315
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:09,599
Sorry - are you arguing the toss
about how babies are made?

316
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,159
Austin, um...

317
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:13,879
The thing is, your mother,
I mean, as far as I remember,

318
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:15,520
was, um...

319
00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:18,479
..no better than she ought to be.

320
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:20,479
Oh, Jillian,
please don't be the kind of guy

321
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:22,719
who says the kind of thing I think
you're thinking of saying.

322
00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:25,239
She was not without
the attention of young men.

323
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,879
And, without judgement,
liked a good time.

324
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:30,559
Say you're slut-shaming
this poor young man's mother.

325
00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:32,679
My mom seemed pretty certain.

326
00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:34,679
But I consider myself
a man of science.

327
00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:35,879
Right? Yeah. Good.

328
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:38,519
So I wondered if you might
be willing to take a DNA test.

329
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:41,279
Yeah. I'm not going to say any more
without a lawyer present. Come on.

330
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:44,479
So... Sorry, Jillian,
he's not accusing you of murder.

331
00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:46,159
I must apologise for my husband.

332
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:49,599
Julian is excessively concerned
about his money.

333
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:51,559
OUR money! No, I'm not.

334
00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:53,079
Oh, I should have made this clear.

335
00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:55,839
I'm not interested in money
or anything like that.

336
00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:57,399
You see, I'm on a quest

337
00:14:57,400 --> 00:15:00,000
to understand who I am
and where I come from.

338
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:04,840
OK. Yeah.

339
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,759
I suppose I could do a DNA test.

340
00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:09,519
Great.

341
00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:11,799
What, now?
Is that a problem?

342
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,759
No. Just, um...

343
00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:15,719
I mean, I... (STAMMERS)

344
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:17,919
I thought it'd be in
a couple of weeks or something.

345
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:19,599
Um...

346
00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:22,199
I will need you to
fill this up to the line.

347
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:24,199
With what?

348
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,280
Saliva.

349
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:28,440
Yeah. Good.
Austin...

350
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:31,239
How old are you?

351
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,359
28 years and two months.

352
00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:37,519
28 years and two months,
plus nine...

353
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,719
Yeah, just before we met.
No.

354
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:41,839
No, that's not quite right.

355
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,439
Yes, it is. Sorry. The saliva has
suddenly gone from my mouth.

356
00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:49,919
No, because we've been together
for 29 years, and a bit.

357
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:51,760
Ah, right.

358
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:55,400
Austin, I don't suppose you're 30?

359
00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:58,879
I'm so sorry. Would you excuse me?

360
00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:00,120
Sure.

361
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,880
I'll be right back.
Sure.

362
00:16:11,881 --> 00:16:15,599
Where are you going?
Back to the hotel.

363
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,559
Don't particularly
want to see you, to be honest.

364
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,159
Why?
Because you've had an affair!

365
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:20,879
Shh! We might get papped.

366
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,199
We're not going to
get papped, Julian.

367
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:23,559
Nobody knows
what the hell we look like.

368
00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:25,759
Anyway, I didn't have an affair!
You're massively overreacting.

369
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:28,879
Oh, am I? Because 28 years
and 11 months ago, Julian,

370
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,519
we were together.

371
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:32,719
IF I slept with this woman...
Well, you just said that you did.

372
00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:34,999
OK. If or when I slept with...
Well, it's 'when', isn't it?

373
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,799
Alright! When I slept with this
woman, you and I...

374
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,679
We had been together for two months.

375
00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:40,359
Talk about the pot
calling the kettle black.

376
00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:43,130
You had a thing with
that diplomat from your book group.

377
00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:45,759
With Wyndham?
Yeah.

378
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,799
Are you serious?
Yes.

379
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:50,039
Wyndham was 92!

380
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,319
He hadn't had an erection
since John Major had been in power.

381
00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:54,279
Maybe so, but...
Ah, how do you know that?

382
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:58,319
Well, because I used to give him
a lift to and from book group.

383
00:16:58,320 --> 00:16:59,959
Oh. And, yes, OK.

384
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:03,119
So, once, I took him
to a doctor's appointment,

385
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:04,959
and I didn't bring him home again

386
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:06,919
because that was where he died!

387
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:10,239
Look, can we just park this,
just for today?

388
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:11,999
We've got a lot going on.

389
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,519
Have WE got a lot going on, Julian,

390
00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:16,520
or have YOU?

391
00:17:26,811 --> 00:17:31,079
Listen, uh, I'm going to
have to make a move,

392
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:34,719
but it was, uh, really nice
to meet you, Austin.

393
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,519
And, um...

394
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:38,959
Yeah, drinks are on me.

395
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,639
Put your wallet away.

396
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:42,399
I didn't bring my wallet.

397
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,599
Right. OK. Yeah, well, I don't mind
splashing out.

398
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,240
What do you mean, splashing out?

399
00:17:46,241 --> 00:17:48,879
Well, 'put your wallet away'
is a British term

400
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:50,399
meaning the other person will pay.

401
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,719
And 'splashing out'
is a British term meaning...

402
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:55,799
..it's really expensive.

403
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:57,720
Splashing out.

404
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:01,519
Thank you. That's very instructive.

405
00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:03,519
Maybe we could
meet up again tomorrow?

406
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,799
Ah, well...
We'll be in Sydney tomorrow.

407
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:07,119
What about the day after that?

408
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,879
Melbourne?
What about the day after that?

409
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,439
Adelaide.
Day after that?

410
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:11,879
The point is,
we're travelling through

411
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:14,519
a series of Australian cities,
and then we're going home.

412
00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:18,159
OK, well, I prepared
a printout for you.

413
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:19,959
It contains some
information about me,

414
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:21,920
including my contact details.

415
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:26,960
When you have some free time,
you could let me know.

416
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,240
Um...

417
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:32,599
Well, I'll be in the UK.

418
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,770
I've always wanted to
visit Great Britain.

419
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,639
Look...

420
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:40,520
Austin, um...

421
00:18:40,521 --> 00:18:43,879
I don't want you
getting the wrong idea here.

422
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:45,799
How do you mean?

423
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:49,119
We have completely separate lives.
We... We don't know each other.

424
00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:50,679
Not yet, we don't.

425
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:52,879
Yeah, but what I'm trying to say is,

426
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:55,480
even if I am
your biological father...

427
00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:59,450
..that it doesn't mean anything.
It doesn't mean your dad.

428
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:03,199
Your dad here in Australia,
that's your real dad.

429
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,520
I don't have a dad
here in Australia.

430
00:19:05,791 --> 00:19:07,839
Right.

431
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:09,519
I probably should have
mentioned this earlier,

432
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:11,920
but I'm on the autism spectrum.

433
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:14,319
Makes sense.

434
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,719
So I apologise
for any faux pas I may have made.

435
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:18,479
You haven't made any faux pas.

436
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:21,279
Thank you for the lemonade.

437
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:23,000
Yeah. Um...

438
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:26,440
Um...

439
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:29,959
Something for the road? Um...

440
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,559
Granola bar? Apple?

441
00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:33,640
I'm good. Thank you.
OK.

442
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:36,839
I'll get it.

443
00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:38,800
Uh, hi. Uh, could I get the cheque?

444
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:27,439
Hi. Hey. Hello?

445
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:29,239
No, hi. Hi, Monica.

446
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:31,159
It's Ingrid Hartswood here.

447
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,159
Apropos of our, um,
our call this morning.

448
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:35,919
Um, yeah.
I don't know what time it is there.

449
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:37,999
Um, I actually don't know
what time it is here.

450
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,759
It's been a bit of a day.

451
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:40,999
Also, I'm terrible at maths,

452
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,759
but you haven't answered,
so that's probably good.

453
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:44,039
Sorry. I'm wittering.

454
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:46,119
I just... Yeah, I wanted to
leave a message

455
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,119
before I, um...

456
00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:51,159
..doubted myself, to say that

457
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:55,039
I would love you to intro me
to some other authors.

458
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:56,559
Um, so much so, actually,

459
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:58,479
I think I'll ask Heidi
to have a think as well.

460
00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:01,639
Um, so, yeah, I'm V-V-V-V-V
excited about that.

461
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:04,479
So, um... Yeah. Don't be a stranger.

462
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,799
Yeah? Um, sorry.
This is a message. You're not there.

463
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,280
Um, but, yes, we'll speak soon. Bye.

464
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:16,999
WOMAN: Austin, how'd it go?

465
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,799
I don't wanna talk about it.

466
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,079
What, is that because it didn't
go how you'd hoped it might?

467
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:23,519
I can't answer that
without talking about it.

468
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:25,599
I'm going to my quarters.

469
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:27,959
Don't worry, love.

470
00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:29,759
Meeting your dad for the first time

471
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:31,800
is always a tough day at the office.

472
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:35,559
Besides, the...

473
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:37,719
..guy probably thinks
it's a cash grab.

474
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:38,719
What?

475
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:41,639
Well, you raised that boy
on your own,

476
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:44,759
so he owes you back-payments,
with interest.

477
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:47,759
I don't want his money.
Really?

478
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:51,519
I mean, he's
a famous kid's book author,

479
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,359
and we haven't got a pool.

480
00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:56,399
Oh, hi. Hi, Julian. How are you?
Where's Ingrid?

481
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:57,799
Oh, she's, um...

482
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,719
She's, uh, she's just
popped out for a moment.

483
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:01,599
Oh, right. I'm not going to
beat around the bush.

484
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:02,999
It's very bad news.

485
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,519
(SIGHS) OK. OK.

486
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:05,839
Look, I'm sorry. As far as we knew,

487
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:07,319
it was just another
independent bookshop.

488
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:08,799
What was?
Nothing.

489
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:10,319
Uh, sorry, you talk.

490
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:12,399
OK, well, there's, um...
Oh, Russell!

491
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,079
Yeah. There's somebody
that I want you to meet.

492
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:15,479
This is, uh, this is Russell.

493
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:17,119
He's from Superb PR. Russell.

494
00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:18,999
Ah, Julian. Lovely to meet you.

495
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,239
I grew up on Big Bear, yeah?

496
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:22,519
Russell looks expensive.

497
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:25,159
Yes, he is, but he's also
a PR genius, aren't you, Russell?

498
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:26,519
He handled that incident

499
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:28,999
with Harry Styles and the marrow,
didn't you? (LAUGHS)

500
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:30,439
Well, what was that?

501
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:31,439
Exactly.

502
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:34,759
Now, Julian, first of all, we need
to do a little bit of firefighting.

503
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,959
Then we'll turn to rehabilitating
your reputation, longer-term.

504
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:39,999
Now we'll start by
putting out a statement.

505
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,839
Oh, yes.
I've been thinking about this.

506
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:46,279
Um, I think we stand firm and say,
storm in a teacup, you know?

507
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,599
Didn't know the guy was a racist,
deplore all that stuff,

508
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:51,399
but still think he made a fair point
about freedom of speech.

509
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:52,639
Yeah, we could do that.

510
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:54,679
Then take all your money
out of the bank, shred it,

511
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:57,039
and have a very expensive bonfire.

512
00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:58,399
You think it's a bad idea?

513
00:22:58,400 --> 00:22:59,719
I think we want to
end the storm quickly,

514
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:01,039
not turn it into an argument.

515
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:02,879
Simple apology, rounded off with

516
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:06,279
something about how you're
committed to educating yourself.

517
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:08,079
Oh, fine.
OK, great.

518
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:10,199
Now, what about black friends
in the industry

519
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:13,199
who might be willing
to tweet something supportive?

520
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:16,200
Hmm. Yeah. Black friends. Um...

521
00:23:16,201 --> 00:23:19,639
I just sort of
scanning through them all,

522
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:21,119
trying to pick the right one.

523
00:23:21,120 --> 00:23:23,199
Do you want to
get back to me on that?

524
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:24,559
Yes, please. Yeah, yeah.
Great.

525
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:27,559
Now, in terms of rehabilitating
your image, longer-term,

526
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:30,119
I think we want to get out
some positive stories,

527
00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:31,679
like your charity work.

528
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:33,679
Charity work. Yeah, yeah.

529
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:35,279
Who are your charities?

530
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:37,359
Well, I texted blankets to UNICEF,

531
00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:40,719
during Young Adam on Film4,
just before Christmas.

532
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:43,479
Why don't I draft something
and you can check it?

533
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:45,079
Yeah, that sounds good. Yeah.
Great.

534
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:48,079
Oh, by the way, uh,
Jackson received an email...

535
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:49,839
Jackson!
MAN: Coming!

536
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:52,799
Yeah, uh, it's probably just
one for the lunatics file,

537
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:56,439
but it's from a woman
who says that her son,

538
00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:57,919
who's... Mm!

539
00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:00,319
Oh. So YOUR son
is coming to a signing.

540
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:02,959
Uh, yes, I've met him.
It's been quite the day.

541
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:04,839
Oh, you alright?
Well, not really. No.

542
00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:07,599
I mean, this guy turns up,
saying he's my son.

543
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:10,039
Ingrid's livid because it was
when we were first dating.

544
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,679
And then, to cap it all,
he tells me he's autistic.

545
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:15,919
I'm sorry.
Did you say the guy's autistic?

546
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:17,879
Yes. Yeah.

547
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:19,359
That could that could be
a good story.

548
00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:20,519
How do you mean?

549
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:22,519
I mean, famous
children's book author,

550
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:24,999
son he never knew he had
tracked down his dad.

551
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,439
The son's of autistic.

552
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:28,199
They spend some time together.

553
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:30,479
Dad goes on
a journey of understanding,

554
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:32,799
a positive transformation.

555
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:35,359
There could be a book in it.
Could be a documentary.

556
00:24:35,360 --> 00:24:37,760
Yeah, I like it.
I love it.

557
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:46,399
(LINE RINGS)

558
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:48,199
WOMAN: Hello.
Oh, hi.

559
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:51,359
Uh... May I speak
with Austin, please?

560
00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:53,120
Is that Julian?

561
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:57,039
Is that Mel?

562
00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:58,439
Yes.
Goodness me.

563
00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:01,200
You haven't changed a bit,
uh, vocally.

564
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:03,759
How have you been?

565
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,800
Um... Good. Yeah.

566
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:10,679
Still into the Cardigans?

567
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:11,959
No. Not really.

568
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:13,919
No. Right. Uh...

569
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:16,919
Would it be possible to...
to speak with Austin?

570
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:18,679
Alright, just a sec.

571
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:20,959
Austin?
Yes, Mum?

572
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:22,559
It's, um...Julian.

573
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:23,960
Oh!

574
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:29,399
Hello?
Austin, look, I'm...

575
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:32,039
I'm so sorry about today.

576
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:35,079
The honest truth is, you sort of
caught me a bit by surprise.

577
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,559
That's... That's alright.
I can understand that.

578
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:40,919
I mean, I had time to
mentally prepare for our meeting,

579
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:42,719
but you weren't really
able to do that.

580
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,079
Right! Yes. I mean,
it was just such a shock.

581
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:48,119
But, I mean, of course
I want to see you again.

582
00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:52,679
Um, we're not actually travelling
to Sydney tomorrow evening,

583
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:56,399
so perhaps, I don't know,
we could...

584
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:58,079
..grab some lunch tomorrow.

585
00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:00,559
What do you mean -
eat lunch together?

586
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:01,959
Yes. Yeah.

587
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,399
I'd really like that.
Thank you, Mr Hartswood.

588
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,720
Oh, please. 'Mr Hartswood'...
Just call me, um...

589
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:22,599
Just a call from Mel.
That's Austin's mum.

590
00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:24,159
She suggested lunch.

591
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:26,319
Mel! You don't look a day older.

592
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:29,319
This is my wonderful wife, Ingrid,

593
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:30,999
who also doesn't look a day...

594
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:32,239
Julian, drop it.

595
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:35,119
I apologise about my family.
It's kind of embarrassing.

596
00:26:35,120 --> 00:26:37,599
I'm just trying to break the ice.

597
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:39,159
Why did you
have sex with my mother?

598
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:40,439
(COUGHS)

599
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:43,079
Have you had
your prostate checked, Julian?

600
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:45,999
I sort of feel like
I'm having it examined right now.

601
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:47,999
Captions by Red Bee Media

602
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,049
Copyright
Australian Broadcasting Corporation

603
00:26:50,050 --> 00:26:54,600
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0